Matt has known all his life he was Adopted

It Never really occurred to him that adoption had any effect on his life having grown up in a normal happy 1970’s to 80’s household.

That was until later in life when he started to get some coaching from a mindset coach back in 2017. The amazing results dealing with stress, anxiety, and sense of self, lead him to begin training in mindset coaching to learn more. And it was there when practicing these skills that Matt discovered some hidden unconscious blocks within the adoption story that was holding him back.

"From this evolution Matt found himself being trained in identity via adoption counselling. Some of these frameworks resonated and seemed to also translate to many issues non adopted people feel in life"

One such framework was shared in trainings was the circle of secrecy and denial. As adoption back in the 70’s was one of not only separation but of denial of connection from family. This in turn causes an array of issues for people throughout their lives. The 9 core issues that arise for people in the adoption cycle are,

The core issue is Loss and what keeps the issues going is the secrecy and denial.

Now what Matt realised was that secrecy and denial is a big issue for all humans who are not allowed to speak their deepest fears. It all gets bottled up inside, which leads to loss of opportunity to know who you really are.

The 9 issues are a result of the inability to open up and communicate. This is a learnt skill to block ourselves into adulthood. If you have ever met a 2-year-old that wants something they yell and scream until they get it.

So the ability to connect requires the person inside to be the opposite of secrecy and denial and be more open and accepting of themselves. This is a journey for us all if you have known no other way. But with the many coaching methods out there we can get to Rome many ways.

The loss in the centre can deeply impact your identity, but it also showed Matt that identity is a construction of generalisations that can be rebuilt and refocussed inside a person. Sure, we all have personalities at birth that comes through, but the development of these personalities into identity is something that is shaped by both experiences, and by your responses to what those experiences meant to you.

Matt love’s identity not only because it is tied to his life story in adoption, but because research shows that if you can shift your identity you can completely change your life. This is what excited Matt the most to know we do have the power to have agency in adulthood, where as an infant we had none.

As a coach that is Matt’s passion to help others to change who they think they are to get what they want instead. Build a new generalisation about who you are and you can live a different life.

If you want to chat to Matt regarding Adoption Identity coaching, Click below to have a complimentary chat.

Matt has known all his life he was Adopted

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